I DNA Tested My Dog

I would like to thank all the dogs that met and made love over the years and ultimately created the pet of my dreams.

My last dog, Merle, looked so completely like a Blue Heeler (Also called Australian Cattle Dog, or ACD) I did not feel any need to get her DNA tested. I mean, I might have found out she was five percent something else, but there was no burning mystery there, google the breed and you see a dog that looks exactly like my Merle, RIP.

But when I got Ruthie I was like — what is this dog? I mean, there was no doubt she was at least half Red Heeler, as “advertised” by the pound, but she was also a little more gold than red, and also, not as mottled as I think of Heelers being. Then there was her body. Every Heeler I’ve ever known is about the same size, like, 20 inches high, I guess? Ruthie is maybe 14 inches high, and she’s also about two inches longer than a Heeler. I thought for sure she was part Corgi. I mean, I would have bet on it.

It’s a good thing I didn’t, because I got her DNA results this morning and she’s eighty percent ACD, and ten percent — German Shepherd. I did NOT see this coming. She’s also ten percent just other random shit, like Bull Terrier. Now this makes sense to me because there’s something about Ruthie’s eye area and cheekbones, if you will, that…