What It’s Like Owning a Wetsuit II

The neoprene doesn’t thicken but the plot does

Now that I have stopped putting the thing on backwards my wetsuit life is really taking shape. My wetsuit journey is all I imagined and more. It’s amazing that these things exist. They really work. People are like “wow you’re swimming in a cold lake in December” and I certainly don’t want to dissuade people from being impressed with me but I do have to give credit to the wetsuit. It’s pretty snug in there.

And yet although wetsuits do work it’s interesting the ways that they don’t totally work. They haven’t figured out a way to get a little zip-up crotch door so you can pee, sort of like dirty lingerie, but functional. I know, you can pee in the suit. I have peed in it. I am not against it, but I like to have the option of wearing my wetsuit home if it’s just too cold to get it off at the dock and I want to just peel the top down and hightail it home.

What else is wrong with wetsuits? They leak at the back, and the wrists can leak, especially if you have delicate dainty feminine wrists, as I do.

To this end, I have updated my gear. I got a pair of gloves that I can pull up to better seal off my arms. I got some booties that go all the way up my ankles and similarly seal up my legs. I can see why people really can get really into…